Conflict – A Problem of Attachment

Conflict is one of the most feared aspects of manager’s jobs. How we handle conflict depends very much on how we think of conflict generally, the person we have a difference with in particularly, and also how comfortable we are in our skins.  The other day, I listened to an interview on 774 of Will Storr, author of “The Unpersuadables: Adventures with the Enemies of Science.”   It is about people who insist that their view  of the world is the absolute truth despite all of the evidence to the contrary.  Examples included the children of nazi’s who continue to argue vehemently that the Holocaust never happened.  
But the thing is, most of us have a bit of this in us.  When there is a difference of opinion, ours is generally right – right?  
But imagine how many ‘truths’ there are.  Every single individual in the world has a difference perspective on the reality they experience – providing ample opportunity to have conflict.  
The reason that we don’t have more conflict than we actually do, is that there are some people out there who are not at all threatened by other people’s alternative views.  These people are very comfortable in their own skin and tend to view such differences, not as an attack on them, but an opportunity to further develop their own perspective.  Truth or reality is like a mirror ball – with every individual perspective we gain another angle, coming closer and closer to knowing the full story – or building a complete picture.
But the key is to loose any attachment to being right.  When we become convinced that we are right, we can become attached to this view, we stop hearing others, and our perspective narrows.  So, whenever you feel compelled to defend yourself or your position, ask yourself, “what am I attached to – what if I let it go?”.

Love to know what you think about this.